How to Build Confidence: Actionable Steps for Success

My Esteemed Readers,,

Have you ever felt that the word “confidence” is this elusive trait that only a lucky few possess? The reality is: confidence isn’t a magical gift – it’s a skill you can practice and develop. Whether you’re looking to boost your self-assurance at work, in social settings, or in everyday life, here are some practical, actionable steps to help you build confidence right away.

1. Setting Realistic Goals

Confidence often comes from achieving what you set out to do. Start by setting small, achievable goals. When you accomplish these, you’ll build a track record of success that boosts your self-esteem. It is important to scale the level of challenge of a goal and the likelihood you feel you will complete the goal from 0-10 to properly understand if this is a good goal for you, or if it should be broken down more.  It is important to get some small wins; then you will feel your confidence start to go up!

2. Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone

Confidence grows when you challenge yourself. Start by taking small steps outside your comfort zone, and doing this multiple times per week. If public speaking terrifies you, begin by speaking up in a meeting and having one or two questions or comments that are short so you can adjust to what it feels like to have some attention on you. Then you can progress to asking more detailed questions and start getting into longer conversations during a meeting where the attention is on you for a longer time. After you get used to the feeling, your comfort zone will expand when you do things outside of your comfort zone regularly.  Finally, when you are using a genuine level of challenge that is reasonable but not too high you will find the correct level of challenge and continue growing your confidence by incrementally breaking barriers.

3. Developing a Positive Mindset and Positive Self Talk

Your mindset plays a crucial role in how confident you feel. Practice positive self-talk and reframe negative thoughts. Instead of thinking, “I can’t do this,” try, “I am finding this difficult, but I can do one part of this right now.” Surround yourself with positive  people who uplift and encourage you. And as a tip try to look for the positive in people that you know because there may be some people that you have to notice their positivity. 

4. Focus on Your Strengths

Everyone has unique strengths and talents,but not everyone is able to see them and harness them. Try a brainstorm to see what you are good at, nothing is too small for the list. If you get stuck, try asking people close to you: what they think you are good at. If they give you genuine feedback and you do not agree with; see if there are parts of what they say that could seem true about your strengths. Once you have identified what you’re good at, or potentially good at it will make it easier to focus on these areas. For example if your strength is writing then you could engage in more tasks or look for more opportunities at work or in your personal time to write and then ideally receive more more positive feedback. Alternatively, you can also do a self evaluation of your writing if feedback isn’t readily available.  When you leverage your strengths, you will feel more capable and confident. Keep a list of your accomplishments and revisit it whenever you need a confidence boost. It is important to have this list somewhere like a whiteboard where you can easily find it even when you are not directly looking for it. 

5. Physical Health and Confidence

We have all heard that our physical health impacts our mental well-being, but what if it is difficult to feel motivated to get active or to eat well?. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep can do wonders for your confidence. But how can you actually get there? For a lot of us we just need to pick a start point and be purposeful and actionable to get started. I often select the night before around 8 PM. I start reflecting on my day and think about what I want to focus on for the next day for my physical health. One example would be committing to take a morning walk, another would be making lunch or prepping breakfast the night before. This guarantees that tomorrow is going to be a bit better than today for your physical health. If you do this a few times and continue to deepen the goal then confidence will certainly be built here. You will fall into a routine that is promoting a much healthier lifestyle once you build some habits.

6. Continuous Learning for Self-improvement

Building competence in new areas can significantly boost your confidence. Take up a new hobby, enroll in a course, or develop a skill related to your career. A lot of us end up saying we are too busy to do this. However, the importance is paramount because it not only makes you feel better to learn something new but it opens doors for you professionally and personally. As a tip, I would suggest making some categories for personal, relationship, professional goals and see if there are relevant courses and learning opportunities available in which category you feel is the most important to your development right now. It gives you something to talk about with colleagues and friends and gives you something to be proud of. You took some of your free time and made yourself more knowledgeable and more skilled in something you care about. That is a cornerstone of where confidence is built!

7. Constructive Feedback For Confidence 

Constructive feedback is a powerful tool for building confidence. Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback from trusted colleagues, friends, or mentors. You can use their insights to improve and grow. Knowing where you stand and how you can improve helps you build a strong foundation for confidence. It can be difficult to ask for feedback, however, you can start small by asking what a colleague thinks you did well and what they think you can improve on, and how you can improve. Many of us can feel sensitive when we are given feedback of what we did not do well at. What is most important is developing the ability to take the feedback and see the positive in making changes for you to be able to grow. For example an author that writes a book will have multiple edits before the book is of a high enough quality to publish. Therefore, you need to give yourself more than one chance to improve the quality of your work bit by bit, until you are able to produce your new quality and new skills with ease. If you can see your goals and improvements in chapters and improve one at a time then you will gradually start to see the increases in confidence you are looking for.

8. Dress for Success

The saying, “dress for the job you want, not the job you have,” still holds true today in 2024. However, there may be differences with those of us who started working online indefinitely.  I am speaking to you guys the most. Even if you are on Zoom Calls all day you still want to feel like a professional and want to look professional for yourself. How you dress can affect how you feel about yourself and how you feel in general, especially when you are working from home all day long. The benefits are in the details such as a crisply ironed or steamed dress shirt, or styling your hair just the way you like to. The best tip is to look in the mirror and offer yourself a meaningful complement and say a positive self statement with pride and emphasis. If you repeat this on a regular basis your confidence is very likely to increase. 

Building confidence takes time and effort, but with these actionable steps, you have multiple places to invest in and start to build your confidence from the ground up. Confidence is a journey that requires daily effort. Keep pushing forward, and celebrate any progress no matter how small or big. 

Stay confident, and trust your process of self development.

Best,

Marc Whitehouse, MSW RSW
Clinical Director Whitehouse Counselling Services